“Jason. If you calm down and go back to class, and you’re a good boy for the rest of the week, I’ll take you to Kmart to get a toy on Saturday.”
What? A TOY? From my favorite store, Kmart? This changes things. Stick that lower lip back where it belongs. Wipe those tears away. Pull it together, Bouncin’ and Behavin’ grade-schooler. Your dad just played the K-card.
I was a sensitive child growing up. I’m still a pretty sensitive adult. While I don’t find myself crying in the middle of grade school anymore, there are things that move me to tears at times.
Videos of hurt, homeless animals who are rescued and adopted. Reading about LGBTQ suffering and suicides by young people whose religious parents have kicked them to the curb, like garbage. People from war-torn countries, barely surviving in today’s world.
Stuff like this takes me back to a time when my feelings were easily hurt or when my empathy got the better of me. I could easily shed tears over people feeling sad or being treated poorly. Fortunately, my dad knew how to deal with my emotional problems in the early 80s.
Straight-up bribery. A trip to Kmart made everything better.
I can remember Kmart being a regular shopping destination for my family since at least the late 70s. It was different back then. Things certainly changed from our childhood years to early adulthood, in terms of how the one-time retail giant handled their business.
The earliest memories of Kmart for me were more about the food than anything else. The corporate people at Kmart realized early on that if small children were content, the shopping experience of each customer was likely to last longer. A kid having a meltdown in the middle of a store usually cuts most shopping trips short.
This was the popcorn machine near the entrance of our Kmart. I’m not sure what popcorn had to do with shopping, but it seemed to work well in movie theaters. Kmart realized this and thought they’d make a little extra coin offering this salty, buttery appetizer to its patrons.
Once we had our popcorn in hand, we were ready to shop. My mother was constantly watching to make sure we weren’t dropping it all over the store. We learned to be careful, even though there was enough popcorn on the floor at any given time from other kids to refill the machine.
After a small bag of salty, delicious popcorn, it stood to reason that we’d be thirsty. And what better treat to pair with popcorn than a nice cold Icee? There was a machine somewhere in the middle of the store. You could choose from cherry or berry.
Berry was blue and looked awesome, but the red cherry one tasted better. Tough choice.
Once we each were given our sugar-laden, colorful frozen beverages, all bets were off. Small children plus sugar equals disaster. Well, for most kids, anyway. We actually handled our business pretty well. My pastor father swung a mean belt. We knew not to push things too far in public.
If our shopping trip was one of the longer variety, or we happened to arrive at Kmart around lunch or dinner time, there would be no popcorn or Icees. My folks would instead opt for the Kmart cafeteria. Having dinner at our favorite store? SWEET!
Yes, in the late ’70s to early ’80s, our Kmart had a restaurant in it. Though they seemed to disappear around the mid to later 80s. They eventually changed them over to Little Caesar’s locations. But how many of you recognize a scenario like this one?
When we dined in for lunch or dinner at Kmart, my folks were smart about it. We’d sit down about halfway through our shopping and break bread together. We ate a lot less as small children, so they were able to split a meal between us. Not a bad idea for a family on a budget.
This is likely why we found ourselves shopping at Kmart in the first place. They seemed to have the best deals on many of the things my family shopped for. You bought typical household items, food, and the occasional toy if you were an emo grade schooler receiving a bribe.
But there was one other thing that Kmart was famous for. This went beyond the normal, everyday low prices of their merchandise. Get ready for an EVENT. You knew it was coming at some point during your shopping trip, but it was never quite the same each time:
THE BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL
“ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS! WE HAVE A BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL GOING ON OVER IN HOUSEWARES. COME CHECK OUT OUR INCREDIBLE DEALS ON BATHROOM TOWELS FOR THE NEXT HOUR. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT KMART.”
It’s funny to me that I still recall the exact same wording of these in-store specials. I’m sure it had everything to do with the blue light coming on and flashing like a cop car. Or maybe it was due to my folks hauling ass over to the blue light area to check out the special.
And as poor as we were at times, we never missed a meal on her watch.
My infatuation with Kmart as a favorite shopping destination ended around the time I started junior high school. I no longer appreciated the affordable items our local store offered. I started caring about name-brand shoes like Converse, Reebok, and Nike. None of which were offered at Kmart.
Their store brand of athletic shoes made me a target at school and I was teased for having such cheap shoes. They also didn’t carry clothing brands such as Vuarnet, Ocean Pacific, Levis, or anything else I was starting to realize was cool. I grew to dislike shopping at Kmart.
My folks changed their shopping habits over time. The visits to Kmart became less frequent. Target was a newer, cooler place to do back-to-school shopping for junior high and high school kids. Eventually, the only reason we’d visit Kmart was to grab pizza from Little Caesars.
I remember the last time I shopped at a Kmart as an adult. I needed a new belt and some white undershirts. As a thirtysomething adult on a budget, I didn’t care where I shopped for these unimportant items.
I looked to my left while driving and saw Kmart. It was now called Big K. There were very few cars in the parking lot. Perfect. Crowded places had become less appealing over time. I could be in and out in a flash.
I walked in, looking for some popcorn. Sadly, there was none. I looked around the deserted store and the only familiar face I saw was Jaclyn Smith’s, as I cruised past the women’s department on my way to the men’s section.
I smelled the odor of Little Caesar’s after grabbing my belt and a pack of Hanes undershirts. It reminded me of all of the pizza runs we made in high school. It also made me thirsty. But there was no Icee machine anymore.
I walked from the back of the store to the front to pay for my purchases. I noticed several blue light fixtures on my way, none of which lit up. It made me sad to imagine them being retired and not drawing a crowd of shoppers as they once did at random times during the 80s.
Our Kmart here in town is no more. Like almost all of the rest, it’s gone out of business. I read that there are only about 7 or 8 Kmarts still open in the United States.
Times change. People’s shopping patterns don’t stay the same. Kmart was full of a lot of cheap brands and the quality of some, questionable. But I’d kill to have a cherry Icee with a bag of popcorn just one more time.
© 2024 Jason Provencio. All rights reserved.
We didn’t shop at K-Mart because we didn’t get one till my senior year in Hamilton Township, NJ. There was no Icee or popcorn but a small cafeteria that looked like the one pictured.
I worked there the summer after I graduated in 1972. The pay was bad, and we were required to smile at customers or risk being reported— signs actually offered a candy bar to offended customers.
I had to do the blue light special at times (ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS: We have a blue light special going on in the sporting goods department…). The other sales clerks would try to make you laugh when you did it.
We did a lot of dusting because we had to look busy at all times. And they ignored the little detail that I was a minor and it was illegal for me to sell guns and ammo.
However, in the 1990s to 2000s, we came to rely on it in Eastern Washington for basics, especially socks and a great greeting cards section, and lamented when it closed.
Great story. I was with you in the Kmart.