America 2025: New Year, New Me, New Fascism
Elonald Trusk, and the Fuckery They Will Bring
Here we are on the first day of 2025. Whoopty fucking do. 19 more days until the official start of Gilead Season.
You have 2 1/2 weeks to flee the country, Ladies. Or resign yourselves to the fact that you should stop putting out. MAGA men clearly didn’t think that one through when they decided to vote for a wannabe dictator. For being the self-proclaimed “Party of Law and Order”, they sure seem to like being controlled.
Perhaps it makes them feel safe. Though I thought all of those goddamn guns were supposed to.
Ammophiles everywhere will be cheering on January 20th. They won’t even have to show up in D.C. and attempt another coup. That’s so 2021. They can do it from the comfort of their own homes. Perhaps host an Inauguration party.
Better stock up on groceries, though before Trump’s tariffs kick in. A trip to Costco will likely run you four figures soon.
But that’s ok. You voted for this shit. Even though most of you love to whine like little twats about the cost of eggs, orange juice, and gasoline. Yet very few of you are billionaires like Donald Trump. Or half trillionaires like President-Elect Elon Musk.
I said what I said. President-Elect Musk. Don’t get it wrong, one of those two “men” holds 90 times more wealth than the other. And the strings of his marionette puppet leader. I’ll leave it to you to figure out who’s controlling who. Here’s a hint: Greed and wealth ALWAYS win.
Not that most of you will ever know that firsthand. The middle-class and working-poor voters who sold their wives, daughters, mothers, and female friends out by voting MAGA will be to blame. When you’re fiscally fucked in 2025 and beyond, don’t come crying to us. We tried to warn you about voting against your best financial interests.
It would have been helpful if you’d done a little research bout tariffs and how they work. Who bears the brunt of them and ends up paying in the end. You wouldn’t have even had to put that large building full of books into your GPS since you wouldn’t know where your public library is located.
This thing called Google works well in a pinch. It’s on your smartphone. Ironic name for that rectangular entertainment item that you log onto “Truth” Social and Fox News with.
Sadly, you’ve been fooled. You were sold a bill of goods that will never be delivered on. Sort of like that big, beautiful wall that your Mango Mussolini promised to keep you safe with. The one that was supposed to keep out all of the brown, scary, rapists and murders. That Mexico was supposed to pay for.
Their answer to Trump about that? “Chinga tu madre, Pendejo.”
I have a feeling that most of you will echo that sentiment as Elonald Trusk co-presidents in a way that will personally enrich themselves at the cost of your family. Yes, Trump/Musk are improving on using correct pronouns. “They/them” is the preferred pronouns of these criminals, thieves, and con men in The White House.
If the only main downside was the cost of consumer goods increasing under the rule of Siamese King Elonald Trusk, that would be one thing. However, there will be plenty of other severe repercussions of electing a fascist pair of fuckwits like those two. Several of which will involve the loss of human life.
You can expect women’s mortality rate to increase faster than Trump’s cholesterol after his daily Big Macs. With red states ratcheting up their abortion laws, women will suffer. Some are already dying. And you can bet your ass that Elonald will be pushing for a national ban on abortion care.
With the Supreme Court in their back pockets, this is a realistic possibility. Justice Clarence Thomas is due for an all-expenses-paid Caribbean cruise. I’m sure he’s receiving those quarterly, at this point. The cost of them is chump change to President Musk.
Women will be barefoot, pregnant, and back in the kitchen like the Fluorescent Fuhrer prefers. The majority of college graduates being female will become a thing of the past. Men can get back to business as the sole breadwinners and the head of their households.
Well, except nobody will be able to afford a home. Not on one income.
This isn’t the goddamn 1950s when you could own a home just on a husband’s income. Y’all Queda seem to be forgetting that the price of lumber, concrete, and every other goddamn thing used in the construction of homes is going to skyrocket under Dumb and Dumber’s tariffs. You’ll be lucky if you can afford a tiny house.
If you’re a pro-birther, Catholic, or Mormon, perhaps you can stack a few of those fuckers on top of each other. Maybe line up a few single-wide trailers side by side and make yourselves a complex. Isn’t that what cult members do, live in communes together and pool their resources?
You might want to take a run through the TV show Big Love, for pointers.
Sadly, we’ll see an uptick in school shootings, though it might be difficult to notice, initially. Shooting deaths already account for the majority of childhood deaths in the United States. More than accidents, fatal car wrecks, and cancer.
But with the birthrate increasing substantially since contraception will likely be banned, there will be more school-aged children than ever. Or what some might call, “moving targets.” Elonald certainly won’t be enacting any sensible gun laws during their reign on the throne. The NRA will be lining their pockets and those of GOP lawmakers everywhere.
And this isn’t just going to be for four years.
Elonald Trusk has already made it clear that there will be no need for future presidential elections. Democracy? Fuck that, a thing of the past. There will be plenty of mediocre Trump DNA running around doing lines of Adderall and coke in the Oval Office. Dumbshit dinguses supporting them on a national level will ensure a monarchy style of rule in the United States from here on.
Unless people get pissed off enough to do something about it.
Still, the chances of this are slim. What has the Democratic party done for you lately? Even with four years of President Biden in office, and eight years of Barack Obama before him, enough hasn’t been accomplished to protect American democracy. Half of the US population remained pissed off enough to elect a 34-time felon, adjudicated rapist, and career con man.
Fucking twice.
We haven’t been a united country for decades. Perhaps we’ve never been. Don’t hold your breath about it in 2025. Or 2026. Though the mid-term elections in less than two years could change the political landscape.
Assuming those still exist by then.
© 2024 Jason Provencio. All rights reserved.
Jason, I am so glad you brought the wall into your piece. I relate this, from yesterday's workday.
I welcomed a family admitting their greatly debilitated father into our care. La senora no habla ingles, her young daughter accompanied her for the lengthy admission process. As I looked at this small, brown humble woman sitting across from me, I thought, this is the enemy, people believe this family are to be despised for the ills that plague this country. This family & their love for each other is so remarkable. I always try to greet spanish speakers in Spanish, even on the street...where I live, I am am the minority. Wake up, people & become a decent human being & help when you are able to extend a kindness. We are now all in this together.
I had hoped we’d be in a different place today. So much for thoughts and prayers 😞