I’ll Always Support People’s Unique Life Changes
It’s Not Difficult if You Have Good Manners and Kindness in Your Heart
Over the past few days, I’ve seen two social media friends change their names. I’m not talking about changing from William to Bill, or Emily to Emma. These name changes were really out there. At least as far as many people are concerned.
I’m talking about names like Saffron P. Ragnar, or Airwrecka Dyvyniti Collins. Not their real new names, but you get the idea. The kind most see on Facebook or Twitter and instantly think, “Whoa! Isn’t that William in all that colorful makeup? What did Emily do to her hair? What’s with those NAMES?”
It’s easy to get judgmental from behind a screen. Especially if these changes come out of nowhere. But let’s think this through for a second. Personally, I admire people who decide to make big changes like this.
Some disagree with it. Most will keep it to themselves, but imagine the number of eye rolls social media posts like these get. In an ideal world, we should be allowed to be whoever and whatever we want, without these types of reactions happening.
Of course, there are the internet trolls who make nasty comments from behind their screens. While these unkind comments are generally few and far between, they happen. It’s not a kind thing that someone with good manners tends to do.
Sadly, there are many folks out there with poor manners and a lot of judgment in their hearts. Whether they learned this from their parents, organized religion, or they are self-loathing about themselves, most are hurt, damaged people. Happy people don’t just rip somebody up and down for choosing to live an alternative lifestyle.
News flash: We all live alternative lifestyles. None are exactly the same. Some just blend in with the crowd more than others.
If we choose to change our names from Michael to Mike, or Jillian to Jill, nobody bats an eye. If someone takes a semester off from college to travel abroad, most people celebrate that. When a middle-aged man with fabulous hair who used to sell real estate gives that up to be an aspiring writer, the masses follow him.
70,000 followers and counting between my two main writing platforms. Thank you all for supporting this fella’s writing dream.
So why are so many people being ugly toward those who take atypical, differing paths in life? What does it matter to you if someone changes their name, their looks, or even their gender? Why don’t people support others no matter what their life change looks like?
Ignorance. Fear. Jealousy.
These are the first three things that come to mind when I see nasty comments about someone’s new life changes on social media. My immediate reaction is to get angry at these people’s nasty comments. I generally want to call them out publically and shame them for their ignorance.
I’m trying to do better about that. It wastes too much time bantering back and forth in the comments section of Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I want to be supportive of my social media friends, but I also have things to accomplish. My days and evenings are busy.
I’ve found that it’s easier to leave a positive, supportive comment next to the ill-mannered, rude person’s derogatory comment. I remember my father once preaching on a Sunday morning about how to neutralize gossip. It was one of a handful of good lessons I learned in church.
Pops the Preacher: “When somebody starts gossiping about another person, a great response to them is, ‘Yeah, but you know what I like about So-and-So?’ Then state something positive about them. It makes the other person look foolish without you laying into them.”
That’s a pretty solid strategy. It works on social media, too. I left my longtime Facebook friend a kind, encouraging comment that supported their right to live their life exactly how they saw fit. It’s unnecessary for anyone to volunteer their mean-spirited, rude opinion about it.
Again, those negative, rude responses come from places of ignorance, fear, and jealousy. Ignorance comes from the way a person was raised. If they weren’t taught to love and respect people, that’s not their default setting, unless they’ve chosen to better themselves later in life and have grown.
Fear comes from not knowing. If someone has never been around people of color, LGBTQ citizens, or someone of a different religion, they tend to judge them negatively. It’s human nature to be more fearful than curious about those different from themselves. You miss so much in life by being scared of things you are unfamiliar with.
Jealousy is also a factor for some who are rude toward another person who differs from them. It takes a lot of courage to change your name to something unique. Even more so to dress a certain way that differs from the masses.
My openly queer friends are some of the bravest people I know.
It’s an unkind, openly hostile world for many LGBTQ citizens. Unless you live in parts of our country that are overwhelmingly liberal, there is a constant threat of insult, persecution, or even physical danger by living your life openly in public. It takes courage to be your authentic self.
The hypocrisy of people who treat others poorly without knowing them on a personal level is astounding. They will whine about how as Christians, they’re being persecuted for their faith. They’ll claim that there is a war on Christmas when there certainly is not. Asking that other winter holidays be accepted and respected is not targeting you and yours.
Conservative, far-right voters lament that they are judged unfairly as racists or bigots. That may be the case for some, but many do fit the stereotype. While some may be good, decent people who would never physically hurt others, their voting patterns and support of horrible politicians who would are disturbing.
Many are jealous of the ones they criticize and make fun of. Their social media friends have true freedom. They decide to choose who they are, and how they represent themselves. They pick their new names, and fashion styles, living their lives on THEIR terms, not society’s traditional standards.
And I’m here for it. I’m all about people living their lives exactly how they want. If you’re not victimizing or hurting someone else, I say, “You do you, Saffron P. Ragnar and Airwrecka Dyvyniti Collins.” I love seeing people happy and will always support anyone’s right to choose what’s best for themselves.
We only have one life to live. Make it your best, authentic, fulfilling life. As a man with good manners and kindness in his heart, I’m supporting you and your choices. I’m on your side and I applaud your bravery.
If you choose to be rude, racist, or bigoted, that’s your choice. But don’t expect the good people in our world to support your decision to hurt others based on your own hangups and insecurities. Treat others the way you’d want to be treated, because hypocrisy is an ugly trait.
© 2024 Jason Provencio. All rights reserved.
This might be the best life perspective I’ve read in a while, thank you for sharing and happy Sunday! 😊
Your pops sounds like a pretty smart guy. Thanks for sharing your memories of him.